JSY

2010-05-15T15:20:00.002+09:00

I know I haven't been blogging much. I mean I don't really expect people to go and view and comment on it, so I just like to blog when I feel like blogging.

It's like as if I haven't been refecting on my thoughts enough.
Poly has started and sometimes I look back wondering if I made the right decision.
With each day moving forward, I feel like I'm getting weaker because I think that I'm not ready for the future.
I try to claim that I am ready and that I am ready to learn and overcome anything.
But in reality, I'm just like any person who has no objectives in life.

It's just scary thinking about it.
I went for the stupid Parents thing in school. It was not exactly a wake-up call, it was something else.
Sigh.

I feel like I have so much to think and to feel.
What is this? Talking to each other in the middle of the night when nothing is going on?
I didn't say that I want something to happen, I just do not want to make the same old mistake that I did the last time.
But with you, it was different.
/;

I don't feel like blogging anymore.
It's killing me cause it's super hot right now and plus this kind of content.
Totally not what I was hoping for.
I'm losing my focus.

2010-03-31T15:26:00.002+09:00

Hello again. It's been a few months.
Let's just put it this way, I am not a regular blogger.

I've got a lot of things to say but I just couldn't find the ime to sit down and pen them all down.
Like I keep saying, I feel like as if my life is on her rushing train, something which I cannot stop although I would very much want to.

I'm going to work again. It's not like I have a choice, because they don't have enough staff, so I have to go and help.
It's like just when I got over him and now I have to see him again. It really sucks badly.
I have to work just right before I enter school.
And guess what. I just received a call that I will be working on even more days.

You know what, I am done.
I don't feel like blogging anymore.

2010-01-25T18:15:00.002+09:00

It's been ages since I blogged.

I've been so busy ever since I came back to Singapore.
It's like after one month not being here in a country, so many things changed.
There's so many things going on at one time, it's kind of making me nervous.

I'm currently working. It's tiring but fun and I like.
BUT, ITS TIRING, and I'm missing school all over again. I miss the fun fun times and I'm very scared to make new friends la.
For some reason, I sound like a small kid.
Hahahaa.

Oh. I have a new neighbour now. They're nice, so much better than my previous neighbour.
That's a very good thing.
Oh, yesterday, I managed to throw all the unwanted books and I even cleaned the windows.
Now, I know why maids always perspire so much.
It's a tough job/.

Sooo, I'm left with a week to be a very goooood girl in front of my parents, so that when they're gone, the whole house is MINE MINE MINE MINE.
I swear I need a life after they're gone! (;
Got all my schedules planned out!
Except for work!

ohhhhh, I am starting to feel lazy to type right now.
I wanna watch gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, its super nice.
Can't wait for school tomorrow.
Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

2010-01-15T17:50:00.003+09:00

Okay, real update.

I'm upset.

2010-01-12T16:24:00.000+09:00

You want updates.
I'll give you the latest one.

SHE'S GOT EVERYTHING I WANTED.

there,
an update.
(:

2010-01-04T09:49:00.001+09:00

I'm sitting here waiting for time to pass because I'm waiting for my favourite tv show to start.
It starts at like 1230am. And I have to wake up at 5am tomorrow morning?
Because I need to take a bus to Tokyo, about 5 hours long. ( Yeah, I know )

That means today is my last day here.
Which kind of brought some memories back from last June 09.

In June, my grandmother was in a really bad condition, she couldn't remember anything, she doesn't even know how to turn on the tap.
She can't sleep, she barely ate, she does crazy things, she's always scared of the house, she's always saying she's stupid, she ran away from the house, she beat people.
The list goes on.
Simple things, she doesn't know. Yes, she is much worse than children.

But, I always made sure that I told her that I'm leaving. ( Even though she would forget sooner or later. )
I remembered I told her that I was leaving to Singapore.
Then, she kind of got sad for a few seconds then that's it, she started mumbling something else less important.
But the day when I was about to leave, she came into my bed in the morning and gave me a hug, started crying and hitting my back pleading with me not to leave.
At that moment, I really didn't know what to do.
Firstly, she wasn't exactly suppose to remember that and she actually felt something.
She felt my pressence.

The both of us just kept crying on the bed, hugging. She kept repeating, asking me not to leave.
But I didn't have a choice, I also kept repeating to her that I'll be back.
We stayed in that position until we slept for awhile then again, she forgot what had happened and went back to her own sick self.
I also didn't know why what I was crying like mad. Like I couldn' believe that she could remember and that she actually misses me.

This time, I also said that I was leaving.
I'm not going to write how she reacted.
It hurt.

Although I didn't want to leave so fast, I had to.

Then it came down to this trip in Dec09.
She did improve but I can't say it's the best condition.
She still cannot remember things, but she can turn on the tap now!! :D
But she doesn't know how to open the rice cooker. /;
Sometimes, she can' even remember who I am.

It hurts.
Sometimes I sit right opposite her and just stare at her talking nonsense.
I felt like as if I can' have the same person like last time. I can' have the old her back.
I am so scared that I might forget how she was like when she wasn't ill.
When I think back,
Although I don't want to say it's true,
it's the fact.

I'm starting to forget how she was like when she was well.
I'm starting to forget how she was like when she offered me food.
I'm starting to forget how she used to smile.
I'm starting to forget how she would always laugh at me.
I'm starting to forget how the food she cooked taste like.
I'm starting to forget if she really did love me before.
I'm starting to forget everything.

I don't want to come back here and see the her like that.
I want to come back here and taste her delicious cooking again. To talk to her. To laugh with her.
To just look at her. To tell her how cute she is.
But I can't.
Cause she's ill and it can't be cured because she's old, it's difficult to have an operation on her.

All I do is to be here and keep her company and stay strong.
For these past few days, although, I put up a smiling face, inside, I feel like screaming.
I always tell her that she isn't stupid, I brush her hair, I help her put on her clothes when she goes to the doctor.
I taught her how to use the toilet, how to open the rice cooker, how to start the gas up, how to stay strong.
But.
She still doesn't know.

I put up a strong front,
let me have this chance to break down and cry.

2010-01-01T15:43:00.003+09:00

Hello 2010, Goodbye 2009.
2009 wasn't my favourite year, neither was it the most hated year.
I met many people along the way, overcame certain feelings and managed to confess on the very last day.
For that, I felt rather complete. Like I've done what I should have done years ago.
Honestly, things may be awkward but with our strong friendship we had for many many years, I don't think we're going to have a problem.

O's wasn't the happiest moments of my life, but glad that I'm over that path.
The wonderful friends that I've made in my life, truly grateful. If it weren't for those wonderful people, I would have never come this far.
( Not going to put names, cause you people know who you are. )
The friendships that were broken, I'm sorry to say, but it still is.
Lastly, my parents, grandparents and GOD, thankyou<3

Let's not dwell on the past and take a leap. :]
2010,
I hope it would be a year much better than the previous.
But I'm sure there are difficulties along the way,
and it's isn't going to be pretty either,
As long as you follow your heart and believe in yourself,
I'm sure everyone would be fine.

That should be it!
I hate WINTER. I SWEAR. haha, I knew that was random, but it's damn cold.
I rather hot than cold...wait, I rather cooling la(:
Make sense?
Just met my cousins, they're so tall now);
Returning to sunny island soon, then I'm going for my cousin's 21 birthday party! (:
Can't wait, can partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! :)

Oh, I really miss my bed and the smell of my room! :)
andmy pikachuuuuuuuuuuu ;D
but I'll never miss Singapore's food :X

Anyway, I really have to go now.
Got a lot of things to do and I need to pack my room, it's like a mountain! Very messy because I haven't been packing because I was lazy.
New year, new accomplishments. ;)

2009-12-30T15:22:00.002+09:00

When I'm at my weakest, Tape me up,
Then break me up, Ever so gently,
Then it's not so hard, Every time you go.

2009-12-29T10:08:00.002+09:00

I am free, I am bored, I feel like I have all the time in the world.
I want to go out but it' super freaking freezing here. I think I'm going to hate winter.
Not the Tokyo winter, but the winter here. Tokyo doesn't snow and it will never, which actually IS a good thing.

So, I've been thinking a lot lately.
I didn't want to make myself for sad and miserable, so I went to surf the net, which really brighten up my day a little. (;
I saw nice clothes! Hahaha, I really really want to shop badly.
Grandfather just went out to get something. Grandmother is sleeping soundly.

Anyway, cutting the crap here, I'll post up some nice pictures.

Nice right? I really really really like this.

I can't find anything like that here );

I like how she did her hair. (;

Actually, there are more pictures, but I realised that they are so small, cannot really see, so I deleted it.
Okay, maybe I'll blog again later.

TWO MORE DAYS TO 2010!
IT'S FUNNY HOW I WILL BE ONE HOUR FASTER TO 2010 THAN YOU GUYS.
WELL, TAKE A BOW.
2009 IS GOING TO VANISH.

2009-12-28T17:15:00.002+09:00

Yeah, call me free. I've got nothing to do, so I added some songs. It's nice kay, listen to it when you have the time although it's in Jap.

The melody is nice, it makes you want to cry.

Anyway, I am devastated.

2things, but I can't post it in here. I really don't know what to do now.

I feel so lost, it's like everything is starting all over again, when I was in Sec2?

Sorry, I know you have no idea what I am talking about.

Scratch that.

Anyway, I think I am going to change this skin when 2010 comes.

New year, new skin, new changes, new beginnings.

Alright, I'm going to cook now! (yes, I CAN COOK)

CHERYL.

WHAT COLOUR DO YOU WANT?

Alrights, I'm going off now.

Sayonara.

2009-12-27T12:17:00.001+09:00

I feel like writing about my grandmother&grandfather.

Everyone has theirs and sometimes, their little actions are just so cute right? I'm sure they had their moments.

My grandfather is super cute la. He doesn't know how to cook "cup-noodles". Like, he doesn't know what to put in first- the soup paste, the oil or the toppings.

Hahaha, I mean it's super cute, then I told him to follow my actions.

Then usually, we pour hot water inside right, like 3/4 of the cup.

On the packaging of the cup noodle, they always tell you how long you have to wait right? For the food and noodles to get "cook". So, this particular cup noodle said it needed 5mins.

Then we waited.

For 5 minutes...

You know how my grandfather waits? He puts a timer! 5mins timer and waits for it to beep then he considered the noodle cooked. I swear he was super cute.

Not only this, the way he carried the "cup noodle" to the table was super cute.

Cause it was 3/4 filled, it held it so far away from his body cause he was scared the water might get spilled onto him.

HAHAHAHA, I couldn't stop laughing. So cute la. (;

Anyway, my grandmother went for a haircut today. I accompained her. (;

She may be sick, but she is still a woman who sure knows how to look good. She got her hair cut and dyed.

Even now, she still looked super cute. (;

Although, she always can't remember things, she always complained on how her legs, eyes, teeth, fingers are pained, she's still cute in some ways.

But the one thing that I don't like is that she always frowns.

So, when she smiles and laughs, she really could brighten up my day. But, she doesn't do it anymore.

It hurts, but it's life.

Not to mention, she still cannot remember my name.

Hahaha, I just cut an apple for her.

Going to eat lunch soon.

Shall blog later.

tata.

2009-12-26T10:33:00.001+09:00

Hello again.
How was everyone's Christmas? I bet it was better than mine! Hahaha, mine was alone.

Yeah, that's the right word.

Anyway, we're left with a few more days before we hit 2010.

Too many emotions are going through my mind and I'm not sure what emotion I should feel.

( Do I make sense? )

Okay, putting that aside, I woke up early this morning and after helping my grandparents, I did some online shopping. Man, it's damn fun.
I realised how long I havent't been doing that already. And what's more, I found many many things that I want but they're expensive.

I'll reconsider if I want them when I return to Tokyo again.

Anyway, here are some of the items that I want/ wish to have it! (;

Cheryl, I saw this online! You want?????????
If you want, I can go down the store next year in tokyo to get it for you.
If you want, let me know, I will try my best to get it for you. Hahah, this is so you la.
Must tell me okay!?!? I hope they'll still have it though.
It's 380yen.

I want, I want, I want
:D

Nice right? Can add into my pearl collection.

I like this. But I have another one, similar to it but it's blue.

But then, should I get it? I like. (;

Nice right? But this is damn ex.

Its like 1080yen= 16dollars.

Kill me.

There's more, but I have to go now.

Later.

2009-12-25T23:00:00.000+09:00

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! <3

When Christmas approaches, it means that the year is going to end.
I hope it's a good thing?
Because I really want next year to be a good year.

Anyway, I am not going to write on how I spent my Christmas today, because it's rather an awful story and I don't want to bore you people.
Shanna, I was watching this programme on tv, music station, your darling korean group appeared, Tohoshinki and Big Bang. I was like thinking of you la.
Too bad la, only 2korean band came.
Go check it out in youtube, I'm sure people upload very quickies. ;)

Baby Pearlyn.
Your mother was watching teevee right? I still waited anyways.
Talk to you soon.

Cheryl Lim.
I don't know what to say. Cause I mentioned the other two babies, muct mention you too right?
Hahaha, skype asap.
:)

Loveyou guys.
I seriously crave for nice nail polish.

2009-12-23T16:16:00.000+09:00

Okay, I have a feeling this post is going to be another long one.
Because I have so many things to say. You know what? I feel like I haven't been speaking English for a very very long time.

So, shall we start with the happy part first.
Shanna, I said I would explain right? Initially, they bought this air ticket for me. This air ticket has this package kind of thing. That means it's specifically for JAL flights and it's for a month.
So, from 6 DEc to 6JAn. Get it?
Then, my parents say they're damn sad because I'm not around with them and they requested me to come home early. Like before 2010.

I mean, I really want to. Like, it'cold here and it's kind of boring cause it's my grandparents house not Tokyo.
But there is one condition, that is they have to pay a 100dollars.
I mean, although I really want to head back to Singapore,
would that 100 dollars be worth?
One day, my grandparents won't be around in this world anymore and would that 100 dollars be worth spending?
I may never have the chance to celebrate Christmas and the new year with them.
Yes, it's boring here and cold but I rather take this opportunity to be with them because if I leave for Singapore soon, I know that I will regret it.
That is why, I didn't return to Singapore soon. ( So, shanna, I wouldn't mind teleporting for awhile, but I must return here. HAHAHA, get it? )

Okay, for the bad and angry part. I am really pissed with my mother's family.
I mean is it so wrong to be a nice person?

That time I went out with my younger cousin for a movie-Twlight.
It wasn't my intention, but it was his mother-my aunt. My cousin, 2years younger than me, Normal Acad, is not the socialble type. He is very alone, like doesn't speak to other of my cousins.
So, every time when we met during Cousins gathering and such, I was the one who tried to talk to him about school and everything. Plus, there isn't such a wide age gap between us.
My mother and aunt also begged me to go with him, so..

I agreed to go out with him for a movie. Being the elder cousin, I asked him what he wanted to watch and I booked the tickets for him.
THE THING WAS: FOR THE WHOLE ENTIRE OUTING, HE WAS AS SILENT AS THE CHRISTMAS TREE I HAVE AT HOME.
AT LEAST MY CHRISTMAS TREE HAS LIGHTS AND THINGS HANGING ON THEM WHICH ACTUALLY LOOK STUNNING.
YOU KNOW WHAT HE WORE WHEN HE MET ME?
BERMUDAS AND PLAIN SHIRT.
AND WHERE WE WENT? ORCHARD.
LIKE HELLO?
Plus, ALL my cousins are very materialistic, INCLUDING HIM. And, this is what he wears when we go out?
I mean at least wear nicer, like show me some respect.
Wearing clothes so skimpy and shaggy. WTH right?

Anyway, after the outing, I complained to my mother. And somehow, my another aunt heard about it. AND GUESS WHAT? THEY SCOLDED ME.
WTH.
Like, "Why you went out with him? And somemore watch Twlight?"
( Becasue Twlight got kiss scenes la, and they thought you know.. like weird. )
WTH. I mean he is sec3. Okay, so maybe I don't understand a guy's mind.
They even scolded me this.
"Why can't you be more senseable? You're older you know? You should know how to decline."
why? ( Because to them, the quietest person is the scariest. )
Okay, maybe, but he is my cousin, he is your nephew.
WTH. It's like I just wanted him to open up to me, like I know his problems, and studies, about N's and O's, and I introuduced good tutors to him.
And, just because I agreed to go out with him, to watch a VAMPIRE movie, I get scolded.
more like, I GOT SCOLDED FOR BEING A NICE PERSON.

I am an IJ girl, I am me.
I do care about people. I mean he is my cousin, not some guy I hook up from a party right?
And I get this kind of result.
I care about him because I am me. I actually do care.
And what's worst, she told my other cousins. WTH la.
You mean what I did was wrong? Watching Twlight was wrong? Just because it had kissing scenes?
I mean what other movie could be watch? Most of it were NC16, he can't watch. And what's left is like what MULAN?
Chinese fighting scenes? You think he will be interested?
I even gave in to him cause he already watched the first season of Twlight and I haven't, and I just wanted him to enjoy. I mean it's not like it's a big deal but WTH.

I AM A NICE PERSON.
ego much? I don't care because I know what I did was nice and thoughtful and guess what?
THAT IS WHAT I GET FOR BEING CARING.
FML.

I need a hug.

2009-12-21T21:20:00.000+09:00

Here is the second post, I mean it's not like you're going to read this peice of crap.

So, I went out yesterday to get clothes for winter.
I realised that I had very little and they're not enough to keep me warm.
So, I went to shop for it in Uniqlo.
Seriously, thank gawd, there is one near my house.
They have everything that I needed. Cheap, Good and Wearable.
But I think I spend too much yesterday. Uhh, I don't know, I still need to safe money on my transport, food, hotel and shopping when I return to Tokyo.

Anyway, I painted my nails.
You know what's the deal I have with it?
It's like you go to the shop and you browse to see which colour you want. You stand there browsing for so long because they all look so good. And you want the cheapest and best.
Well, in the end you got the colour that you want.
So, you go home, feeling all excited to paint your nails with this new colour.
After it dried and everything, then you look at your hands then you realised that this colour is not you.
It is a nice colour but it doesnt't really fit you.
Do I make sense?

I mean, overall, the colour is nice, is a beautiful colour but just not suitable for my hands.
Uhhh, I don't know what I am talking about.
Well, the colours are like dropping off because I've been doing the dishes and chores so it kind of ruined my nails.
Anyhow,　I am going to get another colour which is another problem.
I am thinking Navy blue or grey or white or maroon.
Uhhh, I think I am stupid.
They are just nail colours and I am thinking too much.

So, on Christmas Day, I feel like cooking lunch, or maybe dinner for my grandparents.
Because it would just be the three of us and I wanted to make it special for them.
Can you imagine, when my grandmother was sick, I dont' t think the both of them could celebrate Christmas together peacefully because no one gave them the opportunity to sit back and realised that it is Christmas and that the year is coming to an end.

The problem is I have no idea what to cook.
I want something simple, easy for them to swallow. I thought of curry rice but we already ate it a few days ago.
( Why do I sound like a great cook? Hahahah! )
Anyway, I was thinking pasta.
It's easy to cook, although I had a horrible experience the other time. Hahaha.
Maybe I will give it a shot or... I dont't know.
I'll trying surfing the net, something easy and yet delicious.

I am waiting for my show to start and my fingers are starting to ache from this typing.
Gotta run.
Later.

2009-12-19T15:11:00.000+09:00

Hello, hello, hello!
It's December already and I felt like I haven't been blogging for a long time.
The last time I blogged was really ages ago.
For the first time, I felt so weird without blogging for almost 2 weeks.
So, since I'm free right now, I am ready to do some blogging.

When I left Singapore, I went straight to my grandparents' place in Niigata, which is so far far far away from Tokyo.
We rented a car and drove for about 5~6 hours. Hahaham I basically slept most of the time because all you can see are mountains and mountains.
It is very beautiful but after seeing it for a long time, I felt so sleepy!! hahaha.

Anyway, my grandmother is still the same, still crazy and always saying she wants to die.
I really do not know how to help her. Sigh.

After staying in my grandparents' place for about 6days, we went to tokyo for a week and I did some shopping.
However, I didn't spend so much money like last time. ( At least that is what I think. )
Hahaha, went to Forever 21, damn different from Singapore's. Ohh, Zara and Topshop and pf course other shops too.
Luckily, my mother came with me into the shop so she can help me pay and I would not have to use the money.
Hahahaha, but I never really much things for myself. I also don't know why.

Anyway, after shopping to Tokyo, my parents went back to Singapore and I went back to my grandparents' place which is pretty boring.
Hahaha, I was damn shocked la, because the last time I went there it wasn't so cold but this time,
The snow is like piling up higher and higher.
The wind is super strong like as it if could blow you away.
Plus, I didn't bring good, proper shoes so when I walk like for 30mins, my feet would be freezing like anything even though I wear tons of socks.
I didn't bring gloves! Damn, I was stupid. Now my hands would be freezing.
Damn cold until I dont't feel like going shopping. That's how bad the weather is,
Plus, I really didn't expect for it to snow so early in December, maybe like early January would be nice.
Hurrr, it's nice to see the snow cause they're really nice, white and creamy! Haahahaha.

Today, my aunt came, so I don't think I will be doing shopping.
Maybe tomorrow. I think I'll take a taxi. Hahahaha.

OOOh, Christmas is also coming. I'm seriously depressed.
I'm alone in this cold season on Christmas and New Year.
Haha, and no cute boys to accompany me.
My grandparents will be here but they will sleep so early.
I know if I don't do this, I will regret later in life. It's not everyday that I can come here to visit them and even spent the time together during Christmas and New Year.
They're old, my grandmother is badly ill.
I mean, who knows what could happened right? Life is short, so I should really appreciate this opportunity that I have.

Just now, my aunt, grandparents and I were like sitting together and looking at old photographs.
Surprisingly, my grandmother could remember the faces. Hahaha, and I realised that my father is adorable!!! :)
It's so nice to see three generations looking at photographs together.

It's 3pm here in the afternoon and I feel like taking a nap.
But I don' want! HAaha,　because my room is very cold, the floor is like freezing, even the bed.
It will take me a while to sleep.
But, I have nothing to do.
Oh! I know, I should read a book! (;
Yes, that would solve my problem.

This is a really long post. Hahaha, I have so much to write about, so much to reflect about.
I really miss my girlfriends and babies );
Oh well, when I return to Singapore, it would be around 10days until I get my results.
oooohhhhh, freaky.
Well, what is done, is done.
Right now, I've got a book to read and I will blog more from now on.
(;

Have a wonderul day ahead, amigo.

2009-12-05T21:00:00.000+09:00

I'm going to make this short because I have a million of things to do right now.
Today was a blast, with the people who came for lunch and of course movie with C and S. Shanna, remember to keep your doors closed, you'll never know, LILLY might be standing there.
Love you both!
You two better remember today because it was one hell of an amazing race!
The good news is?
I managed to get the clothes and reached there exactly at 6.
Hurray for me!

Anyway, I won't be blogging tomorrow because I've got the test, packing and more packing.
So, this is the last post I'm going to make before I leave.
Although, I'm not ready to leave this sunny island, but I'm ready to take a leap.
See you guys next year,
Merry Christmas&
Happy2010.

2009-12-03T17:33:00.000+09:00

Now, would you just look at that.
He's perfect. My gawwd, keep staring, then you'll drool. (Just like me, throughout the entire movie)
(;

Twlight was great, enjoyable, it just made you want more.

It wasn't surprising that there is going to be a next season but they just stopped right at the most important questions.

Need I say, that Taylor is just deliciously delicious. (?)

Well, my partner for the movie wasn't the most entertaining person. No doubt, he's my cousin.

He, maybe 15, has no sense of humanity! Hahaha!

The thought of him just makes me bleh. I tried my best to get him out of his house because that's what cousins do, but he isn't trying to make any effort at all.

Yeaaaa, the whole day was HOR-RI-BLE.
So, please don't make it any worse for me. HAHA.

Anyway, I'm just waiting for time to pass faster.

I can't wait for it to be 6, that's when my MOVIE-MARATHON is starting.

Tomorrow, is SNIP SNIP day. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((:

I'm happy, excited but yet uncertain.

It's been almost a year since I've had my last snip. Oh well, we all need some changes in our life.

I'm leaving in freaking 3days and am so NOT excited at all.
To me, I'm not ready.

When I stepped into the plane, I know it's going to ba a long journey for me again.

My grandma isn't in the best condition right now and when my parents leave me to be all alone there, I'll be extremely lost like the previous time.

I'm not sure I can do it but I have to.

Hoping to get a job there and erase all my thoughts, because,

I haven't been getting enough sleep at all!
My eyes are ~~puffed, dark circles~~, yeah, you name it. It's all over my face. I really look like the bad witch from Snow white who gave her the red shinnnnnnnnny APPLE. That's how bad.
Last night, I told myself to sleep early. Well, I went onto bed early but I couldn't sleep for 3 hours.

I rolled all over my bed.

HAHAH, it sounds funny but it's true.

There are so many unwanted thoughts in my head and uncertainity that I'm feeling.

But I know that that is for my own good and I really wish I can have a good sleeeeeep tonight so I won't look so horrible to my hairdresser tomorrow.

OH, I'm going to watch case39 with my dearest mother.
Believe it or not, it's the last movie I'm going to watch in Singapore, o9.

Well, I'm going to post up some pictures because they make me feel happy.

Shanna, if you're reading this, you'll love the pictures like I do.

Enjoy, babies.

Well, that's all for now.

Although there's so much that I want to pen down, I need to go and shower and movie marathon is starting.

For now,

Goodbye.

2009-12-02T18:00:00.000+09:00

Save your heart for someone who leaves you breathless.

2009-11-30T18:23:00.002+09:00

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts,

don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

♥

I'm home after sending the clothes to get dry-clean.
I'm 6 days away from flying and already have so many things that are yet to be done. It's so frustrating and I haven't been studying either.
Now, I'm just going to wait for the package my mother ordered from USA.
haaaa, the thing I don't understand is why these people have to deliver it so late at night and the worse thing is: I have to wait for it. Damn.

Anyway, I'm going to GossipGirl-ing later. B and S are loveeee! I need to finish up all my Seasons before taking off to another Island.
Oh, and I'm going to ask for a break soon.
I'm so busy that I hardly have anytime to breathe. I need cash. The Japanese yen is shooting so high like some bird because of the stupid Dubai Crisis. Damn.
Haaaa, this feels like shit.

So anyway, I went to my cousin's birthday party at Sentosa.
When I went there, I realised how beautiful Singapore was. Hahahaha, I can't believe I said that, but Sentosa was really nice.
I felt as if I'm there as a tourist, it's like there's so many things to see and it was awesome.
The parties with cousins were awesome!
:))))))))
The shit thing is I have to go out with one of them. Why? Because his mother asked me to.
That explains my mood right now.

P, thanks for that lovely post. (:
We really need to talk more.
Loveyou baby.

Make me believe.

2009-11-26T10:00:00.000+09:00

How can time be a measure of feelings?

When you love someone

it doesn’t matter if you’ve loved them

a day,

a week

or a month

or even a year.

Feelings are feelings, and feelings stay.

♥

I had a rude awakening this morning.

I saw P's message and my mood just sank.

For a second, I also almost didn't want to go out because I felt so bad for her and lucky that I just didn't have any mood at all.

No lucky is like no crazy-pearlyn. ):

No doubt, I will miss him.

But then again, this is life.

I know the times, the feelings now may be extremely hard and difficult for you, but I have faith that you'll overcome it. Because there's no way for me to ask of anyone to forget about his existance.

So, all we have to do, is to always remember him in our hearts.

And, P if you have any worries, troubles although it's 6am in the morning, call me baby.

(This post is dedicated to you, P)

Going out with babies later, but it wouldn't be the same without P.

But not to worry, we'll always safe a space for you wherever we go.

With much love,

Baby.

2009-11-25T11:30:00.000+09:00

You can only push a girl away for so long.

Until she walks out of your life on her own.

So be careful and make sure this is what you want.

Because once she turns back,

she is not coming back.

♥

Something is seriously wrong with me.

I think I'm too desperate, because I really really wanted your company, I really wanted to know you well.

After what you said last night to me, I feel like throwing you out of the window.

Because I thought you would be nice and sincere but you just don't get it. MF.

Not only that,

1. You are really imature, because ...

2. You can't lead in conversations, sometimes I can't even read you--if you really understand and know what the both of us are feeling.

3. We may have a disagreement on our own interests.

Of course the one we converse, the lists just keep going on.

But, there are some things I might like about chuuu.

1. You're like me.

2. You do a mysterious activity.

3. You asked me out.

HAAAAAAAAAAAA. I'm tired already. I feel like I'm doing so much but ain't going to get any returns.

This is insanely utterly nonsense rubbish.

So, anyway, backtracking a bit.

I haven't been using the computer much lately, cause I've been studyingggggggg. (:

I hate it that I have to sleep so late at night. I know it's bad but sometimes I just need to deal with something before can hit the pillow.

Last night was pretty horrid.

Today, meeting with Anisa.

For once, we had a a day all to ourselves (:

But I'm sure it's worth it because we've got lots of chitty-chatty to do babe.

Tomorrow, outing with my babies.

Can't wait and Cheryl Lim, you're leaving soon. (Hope you're reading this part)

I'm gonna miss chuuuuuuu so much and remember to take care of yourself baby.

:))))) Love you to the maaaax!

♥

Okay, I think Im gonna do the laundry ( I sound like a maid ) and watch my showwww and wait for the sleeping beauty to call me!

She takes FOREVERRRRRRRRR.

Bye.

2009-11-23T19:52:00.002+09:00

IADORE.IADORE.IADORE.

Hah, I haven't been bloggin and I'm lazy.
I'm lazy, I'm tired, I'm cold, I'm not hungry.
I see food, I feel like puking.
Bleeeeh, something is wrong with me. I have so many things to say but I don't know how to put it.

I know I'm going to fail my test but I'm still studying for it.
Sigh.
At least I'm doing so to tell myself that I've done my best. Or, maybe that's what I wanted it to be.

I have exactly 15mins to logout from fb, switch off the computer, grab my clothes, take a shower, pack my study table a bit and get out of the house for dinner.
HAHAHAHAHA, I doubt I can do that in time.

I HATE MONDAYSSSSSSS.
I'm being damn random.

2009-11-19T19:15:00.000+09:00

I'm so lazy to type everything about prom cause it's going to take so much time and space.
But one thing for sure, it was priceless.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my legs hurts.. it'a aching so much that I'm limping every time I walk. HAHAHA, but I didn't regret walking in heels.
Or else, my stockings would be ruin.
Anyway, today I stayed at home. No point going out with these awful aching legs.
Tomorrow, I'm thinking of inivting my babies over to my house, but C hasn't replied me yet.
Sigh, I'm starving.

I just drank sorn soup for lunch.
I know.
But it was raining, and my legs... (remember?)

So, I'm heading out for dinner now. Can't wait for my TEEVEE later.
Oh, I sound like a kid.

You kept saying nice things to me, but I kept throwing them away.
You might think that I hate you, but I don't.
I can't open myself enough.
I did these for a reason.

2009-11-13T13:44:00.000+09:00

Okaaay, I have to admit, the previous post was a little out of the world.

So, today, nothing special. I'm free today, got really nothing to do.
I woke up really late today, thinking that I have all the time I have in the world. I made breakfast and watched teevee. After that, I charged my ipod then I was sipping milk and reading my book.
I have to say, Life is really good right now! :)
After that, I actually finished my book and I wanted to buy another one, but I didn't have enough money. Besides, I have to save money for this Saturdayyyyyy.

Hahaha, then I went out for lunch and I back with nothing to do in mind.
Well, that was what I thought initially but I realised that I have yet snother thing to do.
PACK MY TABLE.

Hahaha, at first I didn't want to pack it, because you know when exams are finished, you just wanna do what you want, and not pack your things. Cause, I know my table is becoming like the next famous moutain :)
Hahaha, so after I blog, I'm gonna be a good girl and pack my table.

I can't wait for tonight actually. I'm gonna watch 2012. I hope it's a good movie cause it's the first movie I'm gonna watch after O's!!!

Sheeesh, I'm lazy already.
Don't feel like blogging.

GIRL

2009-11-11T18:41:00.000+09:00

YES, THE DAY IS FINALLY HERE. 11.
It's like as if everything just swept past me so quickly. I could vivdly recall the previous days where everyone used to weep, complain and even scream. It's like when you look back from all of your years; It felt like as if you've grown so much and you're ready to just go out and be yourself and have fun, because this happiness may not last very long.

Then when we say that we cannot wait for O's to be over. Well, the thing is, it's already over, but on the other hand, I don't really want next year to approach so fast. I want to fully enjoy myself because somehow I feel that these period of happiness is going to last for awhile and it might or might not be returning back.
When the next year approaches, how will I be like? The different roads of education that are available to me, the different people that I'm gonna be meet, the variety of colours that this life has to offer me?

I know this post is rather dull, but I know no one is gonna read it. It's just that I can't help it. There's this sad song playing on my computer that I suddenly have to reflect.

Anyway, let me change to something more lively, I mean it is the 11 today.
I've been with so many people, but I still cannot get a right answer from anyone.
"WHAT EXACTLY ARE FRIENDS?"
We say you're my friend, I'm your friend, but in the end, that's not exactly the case.
These two years that I've spent in my class doesn't really show that.
Maybe it's because I've been thinking too much? But, I don't know. I'll never know until....

On a lighter note,
I've got so many things to do today, tomorrow and of course, the NEXT FEWWWWWWWWWW MONTHS :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I’m not that little girl anymore.
I’ve grown up;
I’ve become something everyone thought I would never be.
But here I am, look at me.
This is me.

It's been too long

2009-09-24T18:45:00.000+09:00

Hello! I'm back with another post. That is a minature item that I want very much. It's super cute and I can't take my eyes of it.
It's like the more you look at it, the more yummy it gets.

Back tracking a bit. I didn't go out today. SAD ):
My mom told me to stay at home tonight cause she wanted to discuss something very important with me. Hm, it's about my cousins again. Sigh, when it somes to them, everything seemed to be a huge mess.
So, I literally spent the whole day downloading songs, updating my mp3, cause I know I need some new songs to motivate me in my studies.
Speaking of studies, tomorrow can be called as I think I'm gonna receive back my papers. Sigh. I'm not sure whether I'm going to do much better than mids or worst.
It's almost like I don't really know how I did; I just have to wait for the results. I hate the idea of getting back papers, espescially ~~English and Humanities.~~ They scare me, cause I never done extremely well before.
Just the thought of it, makes me wanna puke.

I hope my mother finish work early so we can eat subway.
I hated the idea that when I went to eat SW in TP, there wasn't and CHOCO, so I am just having the feel, the urge to have them today.
I<3thursdays, a lot. It's my favourite day of the week cause it has ALLLLL my fav shows on!

Actually, I have nothing else to blog about today. My life, is full of boredom, nothing exciting, not attractive, not some drama people watched on Teeve.
No, I'm not asking for some DRAMA to happen, but I want some happening, like feeling of the rush of blood flow through your body. It's always STUDY STUDY STUDY, I really need a break.
I can;t wait for Os to fly so I can throw everything in the bin and never ever going to touch it ever again.
Everything is waiting for me!
BIRTHDAY PARTIES, CHALLET, PROM, JAPAN!
I need A REAL LIFE, a life where I can breathe normally; without having to worry if I'll make it for the next bus, a life where I can be free; not having to worry about curfews, a life where there is no hatred or sorrow; so that everyone can be happy, without having so much insecurities in life.

SO, CAN YOU GIVE ME THAT SORT OF LIFE?

Rosebullet

2009-09-23T12:00:00.000+09:00

Yesterday, was the last day of Prelims. Feeling really high and awesome right now.
After Prelims means ~~Olevels~~ and somehow I can't wait for it to come. I am sure everyone has been scarificing many things in their life, well, I don't want to keep scarificing.

Anyway, yesterday I was upset with the SUBWAY staffs in TP; I keep having problems with the ~~stooopid~~ cashier guy, I'm sure he dislike me as well.
Oh, there wasn't and CHOCO cookies yesterday, sigh.
So, after lunch with Cheryl, Shanna and Charlotte, I went straight home to use the computer! :]]
Then, my mother called me out for dinner at Orchard.
So, I went and instead of eating dinner, we went shopping. Hahaha. Cause I needed a pair of nice-looking heels for prom, and she got it :]
We had lots and lots of Vouchers and discounts, so I guess it was pretty much worth it (:
Although, I am hoping I don't dig a hole in my parents' pocket just for one night.
I can't wait for PROM... I know it's gonna be so fun.

So, anyway, I ~~spent~~ a lot of money yesterday, and feeling guilty. That's why I decided to stay at home today.
Okay, it started of with my heels, then this dress imported from Japan. It was so cute and nice and uhhh, just fab. It cost almost ~~300 bucks.~~ yes, I know-shoot me in the head.
I didn't wanted to buy it because it was too expensive for my mother to purchase it, but instead she bought it out of LOVE, I believe. <3
Following that, she bought a skirt and this cute top. Together, almost ~~200 bucks.~~
(I hate the fact that Japanese goods are so expensive!)
So, it costs a lot and in the end, my mother and I ate dinner almost 9pm at ION FOODCOURT, cause it was cheaper.
HAHAHA, 9pm, I'm getting fatter day by day. Sigh.

Yeah, I guess that was the shopping craze for yesterday.
For today, I don't really feel like going out again, because going out= spending money.
Guess that means I'll only have plans for tonight. :] (Better than nothing, I suppose)

I don't really want this Friday to come.
It's the checking of papers.
SIGH.

HELLO SEPTEMBER

2009-09-20T16:00:00.000+09:00

I really wanted to self-destruct this blog a few months back, because there wasn't any time for these kind of blogging--cliche? I'm not so sure.
Until SG told me that blogging is good and it can change the world and all, and somehow I got really inspired by it. {; Now, that's cliche.
Anyway, I'm back but I can't really say that I'm gonna be here for a long time. But, hey, at least I've done some spring-cleaning here in this blog.

It's mid-September today--getting really close to O's. I ~~don't~~ really know what to feel.
It's scary and ~~yet~~ intimidating.
I keep telling myself not to make the same mistakes repeatedly, cause I know my results will change part of my life. I need this, I want this, but it's difficult to just think that everything might go your way; nothing comes easily in life.
So, I'm trying to put everything on hold. Be it you, and you and you.
Yes, I know. I can't do it.
Because?

No matter how far apart we are, the feelings won't change.
So, don't try.

I'll side-track a bit.
After blogging, I'll check fb:] Then, ~~start studying~~ for MCQ Science.
See? It's stupid. I'm gonna go to school and sit down for an hour thinking which of out of the 4 options is the most suitable one??

Oh please, give me a decent break already.

2009-06-03T17:41:00.001+09:00

Heh, it's beeeeeen superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr long since I've blog.
I'm lazy and everything.
But I'll be leaving on Thursday night/Friday morning, whichever you prefer.
hurrrr.
I haven't pack my stuff and I got tuition later at night in ORCHARDDDD and mt dad is not gonna pick me up from school ):
I'm lazy la, I'm gonna pack my clothes now.

:DD

2009-03-28T14:16:00.000+09:00

Needless to say, CONFESSION OF A SHOPAHOLIC WAS A BLAST.
It was funny, sensational and yet humourous.
(: It's really good, everyone should go and watch it!

So, yesterday, after school I called my aunt to confirm the timing of the movie. We watched the 9:40pm show. But, she wanted a later timing cause she needed to send her older son to the ARMY camp thing. But the latest was like midnight and she couldn't make it cause she needed to go to church the next morning.
So I booked tickets just the both of us then I went home.
By the time I reached home and bathed, it was around 3:30pm and I could still eat my lunch. It was so late, but I guess my stomach was just calling.

Anyway, after that, I went to do my Japanese homework and fb-ing. After I completed it, I went to play my game then I went to sleep, slept for almost an hour until my aunt called.
Her YOUNGER SON wanted to watch. (btw, he's 18) I was like WHHHHHHHHHHAT?
I mean, usually, this kind of show is for girls to watch right? I mean, generally speaking. Then my aunt made me go back all the way to J8 and book for her son! I was really pissed la. Just now don't want to tell me, only now then say. To add to that, she wanted the seat next to us.
But, it was so long already, people might have taken the seat.

Out of respect, obviously I had to go. Luckily there was a space for him. Then my other uncle picked me up from J8 together with his wife, aunt, my mother, and my aunt's sons.
Including me, there were about 7people inside.
God knows how we fitted inside. Plus, it's not a normal car, it was taxi. (My uncle is a taxi driver)
So, if he gets caught, he's dead. Guess God was on our side last night. (:

We ate at CHOMP CHOMP at Serangoon. Ordered lots of food and kept talking and laughing nonsense. It was about stealing.
Urgh, I'll blog that some time later, I have t catch my bus.

Alrights, my fingers are all numb. Oh by the way, I'm trying to type with more than 2fingers.
Wish me luck.
hahaha, I'm going to Jap class now then later go and eat dinner at my EX-work place(:
Can't wait.

(EARTH DAY, TONIGHT. SAVE THE EARTH!)

2009-03-25T18:25:00.000+09:00

I'm so happy today! Hahaha, because I self-proclaimed that there isn't any Tennis today.

Like seriously, who cares about the sec5s? I bet the teacher doesn't even know I'm missing.

I took a bus to J8, then I went to the library to read books cause I still have time and I didn't wanna go home yet. Like so long never go there, the feeling became so nice.

After like half an hour, I went home and something weird happened. I'm lazy to explain la.

I have to do Chinese later ): Cause, tomorrow got Chinese tuition, I hate it. It makes me so sleepy~~

I hope she comes early tomorrow, so it'll end late.

After tomorrow, I'll be really happy. Because the weekends just keep coming closer and closer(:

I can't wait for the weekends! I'm dreadfully tired this week and I need some relaxation in my time-table.

I don't feel like going to school tomorrow ):

School is so boring and tiring, it makes me want to sleep especially duing Bio.

She can kill me, literally.

Alrightyrights, I'll go surf the net then I'll go eat dinnnerrrrrrrrrr.

Tonight, AMERICAN IDOL <33

KISS

2009-03-21T19:01:00.001+09:00

Today was rather a fast day. I was late for English tuition today cause I played my game till 2am and overslept):
Jap lesson was ohkay todayyy.

I feel like crying.
I was in facebook just now, just looking through the lower secondary pictures because there was so many notifications. HA-HA.'

Then, you know the home page? Like, they got tell you the latest things your friends did right? Out came, his name. He got some pictures.

Out of curiousity, I decided to look. I felt nothing, like seriously. He looked happy and blessed to have wonderful friends in CJ which I'm happy for him despite of his family conditions.

I looked through all and realised how he had changed so much.

Then I questioned myself this: "Did me, myself changed too? Did I really moved on from the past?" I wanted to know because he looked so blessed and everything and then I looked back at myself.

I knew I did moved on but why is it that when I looked at him, I questioned myself? Is it natural for me to feel this way or is it just me unable to move on in life.

Sometimes, I wonder what he really felt about me? But, again, I'm scared to know his truth or maybe I just don't want to hear it, you know?

Then, I saw these cute pictures.

HER NAME IS KISS, WE BOTH CREATED IT AND FOUND IT. Isn't she just beautiful?

and yes, I started to cry fo god knows what reason.

Honestly, I missed those times.

But I wondered what the tears represent actually?

2009-03-19T09:52:00.000+09:00

Boosh, Shoosh.
Yesterday I came home from Orchard at like 11 plus? I sat for my Japanese Test last night.
dannnnnnnnngggggg~ It was quite tough. When it was until the last paper, my eyes were practically closing. Everything was like comprehension style.
I could die, literally.
Some more, there's listening comprehension. Whoooaaaa, talk one word only then finish, they ask you to answer.
Craaaaazy.

Hahaha, anyway, I'm waiting for my Chinese tutor to come, I can't wait for CHINESE tuition to be over. It's so booorrrrring.
Oh, just to let you know, I finished the work already, just left a few questions of the Comprehension, but I don't feel like doing it.
I'm just gonna tell her I didn't do, mei you shi jian!!!! :D
Hahahaha, I hope I don't fall asleep. Everytime, during Chinese tuition, I'll always fall asleep, it just gets so boring, all the words so difficult.
I only like it when she does oral, cause no need to think, It's like common sense.

Later, going to club to study all by myself. I wanted to to call jiayi, but I think better not.
Later, sure cannot study.
Hahaha, I wanted to stay in my club the whole dayyyyyy, but I'm going out later.
See? That's the problem with holidays. It's one whole of a distraction.
Speaking of distraction, my Chinese tutor just called, she said she'll be late!!! ):
I want it to faster finish so I can gooooooooooooooooo, gr, irritating.

Okay, I'll go and bathe nowwwww.
I'll blog some other time.
:]

2009-03-18T17:20:00.000+09:00

Alright, I know, I, myself feel as irritating as you do.
But, this time, I really wanted to go back to xanga and freshen things up but I really totally forgotten all my passwords. I have too many passwords for different accounts. Yeah, I'm specail, deal with it.
So, I decided to make another one, not too complicated so I can access to it.

Anyway, I spend my whole practically on the computer on my study table.
I have a Japanese test later on, at 7:15. By the way, the test will last for 3 hours, I'm gonna sit there for three hours doing the test.
I swear I'm going to sleep... and probably fail the test. Since, most of the time, my hands and mind are totally fixed on fb today. It's so horrible that computers are so addictive.
Back to the topic, tomorrow I'm gonna have Chinese tuition in the early morning. I didn't finish her work yet, so I'm doing it right now. (multi-tasking)

I'm going to my club tomorrow and study. If I'm gonna step back into my house for the whole day, you can consider me staying back after school because I didn't finish my homework.
Let's see, what should I do tomorrow?
1) Math
2) Accounts
3) Social Studies
4) History
I'll just bring along the Physics paper, see if I'll have the time to even touch it! :]
I'll probably do my English during the weekends. Seriously, doing newspaper articles, need a certain mood.

Anyway, I just found out something shocking today.
I didn't know andrew was attached. To add to that, someone from our school.
psst, I don't like his girlfriend.
:(

Hahaha, it's 5:20 already, I better go and freshen up.
Wish me luck for my studying tomorrow, oh and tonight's test!!
<3

The Beginning

2009-03-18T13:48:00.001+09:00

TEST TEST